Steampunk Valentine’s Day – Girl Meets Homme Mécanique …

by Knitsmith Linda on February 13, 2012

She was mesmerised by the depthless eyes...

It’s a story we hear all too often.

Girl meets Homme Mécanique.

Girl falls for HM.

HM is programmed not to return affection.

Girl attempts to reprogram HM.

Girl fails, and HM is returned to manufacturer to be scraped.

Many readers may not know the origin of this sad tale and its connection to valentines. When the BMxxx (“Trois x”) was patented in 1845, it was considered a breakthrough in chaperone technology. It was extremely efficient at its task. Too efficient, alas.

It was later discovered to have a defect in the empathy drums (tambours d’empathie) of the heart engine (moteur de coeur) and the resultant oddly cold persona of the BM Trois xxx was too tempting a problem not to solve. Upper class young lady scientists** flocked to enrol in 101 Robot Mécaniques.

These ladies became totally disinterested in young men of flesh & blood, and totally enamored of their mechanical ones. In extreme cases, some HM were known to take their lady cares hostage in order to achieve their programming imperative. The quite unexpected result of these episodes was young ladies falling helplessly and devotedly in love with the HM to the point of obeying their every command.

Interestingly, time travel observers have noted that in the 20thcentury, this paradoxical psychological phenomenon was studied and dubbed “Stockholm Syndrome” following some famous incidents involving terrorists and heiresses…

But I digress …

The Be Mine xxx Neck Insulator/Scarf was a favourite valentine amongst these unfortunate young lasses.

BMxxx Neck Insulator - tres bien!

Though the HM had no physical need for such ornaments, it was common to see festooned Homme Mécaniques on the green on Valentine’s Day.
While this episode in the history of amore is by no means distant, here we present our humble interpretation.

**the aforementioned young ladies were subsequently rehabilitated in various institutions, most notably in the auspicious “The Knitsmith Society for Returning Wayward Capricious Lady Scientists to Their Friends in the Cities” which still invites donations to support this vital work.

Free Pattern to follow …

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Diane G February 16, 2012 at 10:01 pm

What a wonderful tale of young love!
I would love to donate to the Knitsmith Society for Returning Wyaward Capricious Lady Scientists to their friends in the cities, the cheque is in the mail. One young lady saved and rehabilitated is my reward……


Knitsmith Linda February 17, 2012 at 8:49 am

The Society thanks your generosity madame & be assured we are firing up the steam pumps on the omnibus to send some lasses home as we speak!


JJ February 20, 2012 at 9:33 am

Oh, I’ve had that problem with the empathy drums on a few models. Nothing a swift whack with a spanner can’t fix. Then, of course, you need to wrap a insulator around it to mask the fix.


Knitsmith Linda February 20, 2012 at 10:02 am

Thank you Madame for your insights into the finer points of HM maintenance. As you appear to have an avid interest, we highly recommend Dr Ralph E. Dodgy’s (of Castlemaine, Victoria) Advanced Robot Mecaniques. I am quite sure he would be willing to provide an exemption from the prerequisite of 101 Robot Mecaniques, in exchange for a modest donation.


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